Straight from the horse’s mouth

This is a preferred blog, and one of the unusual type for me. It just happened to seem like the best way to solicit advice from those whose opinion I value the most. And instead of calling every one of you to ask the same question I thought I'd ask it here. Write away, and PLEASE be honest. I know that most everyone I know (with the exception of a lucky few) come from a family situation that is less than "leave it to beaver". So I need to know what you think.

For those of you that do not have the exact story of my being knocked up- here goes it:
I slept with a guy who I have been friends with for 5 years when he came to visit on his birthday. We've been flirting for years (most of it when he lived in SD). His best friend had a thing for me and had met me first so it never went anywhere out of courtesy. He became married, and we put it off. Then he and his wife became divorced and when he came to visit last, the inevitable happened. At the time I did not think so much of it, being on the pill and knowing him for so long. Plus, let's face it- I am not one to hold back if I want something or someone. Long story short- I'm knocked up.

Daddy dearest was in favor of abortion- those who know me know I could never have one. So I gave up everything in what I believe honestly is the best decision I have made in my whole life. However, my little innocent man does not yet know the situation into which he's been born. Someday he will. I want to say someday that I did everything I could and I did it the right way.
The father is still at this point in favor of what we both believe is the best for us, however, after thinking about it I don't believe it's the best for the baby. Dad, as I will call him, does not want to be only a part-time father and given the distance (he lives not in SD or CO) believes it best for the baby that when I marry someday (if luck will have it ;)) that the baby will have a present father whom should have the right to adopt him. He wants to sign off all of his parental rights to me. He may not even be included on the birth certificate. I personally think this is the easiest solution as sharing custody with someone would be difficult. But what do I owe to the little man? I told the father that I would prefer he not sign over his rights because I don't want to discourage him in any way from feeling like he cannot contact his son. I think I owe that to Kieren regardless of what is easier. Do I want to deal with it all? No. But that's not fair. So I explained that it is his decision and I don't want to push him into anything either way. I explained that we can notarize an agreement that states he is off the hook for child support (I don't need it nor do I want it if he does not want to be involved. If he does change his mind- different story).

Here's the thing: I don't want to make more of this than it is. I want the father to be able to decide for himself, but I also want to be able to look my son in the eye when he is able to understand me and tell him that I never ever turned his father away or encouraged anything but involvement. My question is this: Do I tell the father I think it's shitty that he doesn't want anything to do with his child and at least state my case, or do I continue as I have done and tell him that it is his decision to make and let it go?

I know it was my decision to keep the baby (in my opinion there is no other option) and I imagine this is not easy for him to take in. But consider that I am the one who endures the nine FULL months of foot swelling, back aching, exhaustion yet inability to sleep, and constant jabs to the ribs. I am the one who is carrying a child looking like the freaking pilsbury dough boy, putting dating on hold, while he is fucking his ex-wife and dating. I am the one who uprooted my entire life and freedom to give a person a chance at life. Not that I didn't do it willingly and most times with a smile on my face, but the one thing it is not is easy.
Help. I feel a little lost. And I hate that.